tibiotarsus:
GMs of niche, rare and semi-sandboxy games who've recruited people partway through, how do you get players to settle in and really feel part of what's going on, when there's no typical 'party structure'?
GMs generally, any tips on immersion or dealing with the RPoL Vanish in a more socially- than combat-weighted game?
So.
There is really nothing that a GM of a game can do if a player 1) has RL issues, whether the game is live at a tabletop or in an anonymous setting as PbP on RPoL,
or 2) if that player and the game are just not a good match.
Either player can disappear without explanation, and not come back. In 1a) if the two are in an overall social setting together, of course there is an extra incentive to give an explanation for not wishing to continue. In 1b) or 2) however, it's really just a matter of etiquette.
It can be awkward for some persons to explain, face-to-face, why they don't wish to, or can't, continue in a game. Many gamers aren't the most socially adept creatures anyway, and it's easier just to disappear.
In a PbP game, where it's anonymous (unless you should encounter that person or GM later on in RPoL, for example) it's mostly etiquette. Some people can't bother to type a sentence or two before they disappear, whether it's RL, or the player and/or the game are not a good match. It would be nice for the disappearing player to give the GM an explanation if it's RL. It would be constructive if the disappearing player were to offer reasons/criticism to the GM, if he and the game were not a good match; but then, most all players are pretty passive (and why bother?).
I've played tabletop games all my life, and RP games since they began over 40 years ago. I've been primary GM for a Freeform game for over six years on RPoL, and handled close to 200 RTJs for it in that time.
Just a few percent of the players will offer criticisms for leaving. Perhaps another few percent will offer that RL is the reason. Most simply just disappear.
That's not a good thing if you should meet that person again! But, as I said, many gamers aren't the most socially adept creatures. Or, they just don't think ahead.
To your first question, I, as GM, try to deal individually with each person who submits an RTJ. I try to read between the lines as well as what is written. Sometimes I initially make a mistake, and sometimes the RTJ does. As I have lots of experience, I try to recover. Good players behind their RTJs also can try to recover. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I, as GM, have a pretty good idea what my game is about, which I try to convey to the RTJ.
Sometimes the player and I connect, sometimes it seems to be a painful process, sometimes it's pretty clear to me that the RTJ and the game are not a good match. It is best that either or both come to that conclusion before we waste much of each other's time.
Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to your first question. Some players can adapt and some cannot. Some see something in your game that they like or offers inspiration/ideas, and it's too much trouble and/or work for others- and they are gone, likely without telling you why.
To your second question, it all comes down to your gut reaction: is the extra effort to keep/retain this player going to work... or not?